As promised, a more light-hearted blog. The title pretty much sums it up, but let me clarify, I don’t actually have a bad relationship with my landlords. Not that they’re aware of, anyway…we’re on good terms, and I’m good at keeping my anger and frustrations under wraps when talking to them. SO - this is more or less just a rant about the things I’ve had to put up with over the last 8 months since I moved into the basement apartment I’m in. Keep in mind - only 8 months!!

To give a little bit of background information, I rent a basement apartment from a girl and her boyfriend. I used to work with the girl at the job I had prior to the one I’m currently in, and she was always begging me to move in. She hated the current tenants and had a feeling they’d be moving out soon, and she wanted “a friend” living downstairs. (I use the term “friend” loosely, we are friends but we don’t hang out together or anything like that.)

So, when last September rolled around, she told me that the tenants they had at that time would be moving, and would I please please please consider moving in. I considered it and told her that I wasn’t rich and wouldn’t be able to afford it if she was going to raise the rent from what it was at that time. She told me “No problem, you’re my girl, I got your back, I’ll keep the rent where it is, and since electric/garbage/cable/internet is all included in that already, I’ll keep that where it’s at too.” So I’m thinking, great deal! I have an apartment I can afford, it’s a pretty good size, electricity and cable and internet are all already included, it’s close to downtown Seattle, and I have a friend as a landlord.” Great, right?

Not long after moving in, the problems started. At first, it was just the fact that the apartment needed painting. My landlords told me that if I wanted to paint the apartment, they would take $50 (yes, you read that right) off my first month’s rent, and reimburse me for any supplies I needed to buy (they had already bought the paint). The $50 off wasn’t that appealing, but I don’t despise painting, and if I had waited to let them bring painters in it would have been several more weeks before I could move in. So, I took the offer. I went to Home Depot, exchanged the bright white paint they had bought for a more appealing off-white, and purchased all the rollers, sponges, drop cloths, and brushes I would need. I saved the receipt, and gave it to them - and guess what? I never saw a penny back for anything I had purchased. Guess what else? I quit after painting just the bathroom.

Then, I discovered that although my friend had said she “thoroughly cleaned the place” the weekend I moved in, the term “thoroughly”, to her, apparently means “I hired someone to shampoo the carpets, and I ran a sponge over the kitchen counter.” The top of the refrigerator had about an inch of dirt on it. The cabinets contained pieces of broken dishes, spilled food, smears, dirt, and candy wrappers. The area underneath the kitchen sink looked like it had NEVER been wiped out, and there was a FULL bucket of murky water underneath one of the pipes, which apparently had been leaky at one time but had been fixed. The refrigerator had food smears in it. The miniblinds over the kitchen window had food splatters of many colors. The wall behind the stove looked like someone had flicked spaghetti sauce at it and never wiped it off. The list continued…there were cobwebs and spiderwebs, dirt and fireplace ashes, mouse poop and food crumbs. So…needless to say, the amount of time I spent cleaning BEFORE I was able to unpack was more than I’ve probably spent combined cleaning the place since I moved in - and I love me a clean house. I wouldn’t say I’m obsessive compulsive or anything, and I’ve learned to be a bit more relaxed about it, but if you come to my house you better not be tracking in dirt, and please use a coaster even though my coffee table is glass, because it’s a pain to Windex it every other day.

Then, winter hit, cold set in, and I began finding more things that were broken or not working. The lightswitch next to my front door would only turn on my porch light about 50% of the time. Out of 3 wall heaters, only 1 worked. The other two blew out cold air. I called my landlords, and my friend promised to have her boyfriend come down and fix everything. Two weeks later, he still hadn’t shown up. I called again, and of course, “He’ll come down tomorrow!” A week later, still nothing. I finally called and insisted. Later that evening, the boyfriend (who is 31, by the way, he’s not a kid) showed up with nothing but a spare heating element he had “found in his garage and wasn’t sure if it worked or not”. After sitting on the floor in front of one of the broken heaters for about five minutes, he finally asked me if I could scrounge up a screwdriver and a flashlight so he could take a look at it. I did so (hey, I’m pretty handy, I have a few tools…) and he proceeded to take apart both broken heaters, replace the element in one of them (which still only works about halfway) and swore he’d go purchase another new element for the 2nd heater. On the way out the door, he played around with the lightswitch (translation: he tried turning it off and on several times, to no avail) and promised to come back with a new switch for that, as well. To date? He hasn’t been back. The lightswitch is still broken, one of my heaters only heats up halfway, and the other still blows cold air.

Next came the rodent infestation. It started with a small, incessant scratching noise underneath my kitchen sink. I called my landlord, and asked for mouse traps. “Oh yeah!” she said. “I have a mouse up here, too!” So, she promised (once again) to send her boyfriend down with mouse traps. Two weeks later, I had what I guesstimated to be 3 mice, and still no traps. I called her and told her something to the effect of, “If you guys don’t bring me mouse traps, I’m going to go to the store and get some and I’ll give you the receipt and I’ll take it off next month’s rent.” Amazing what happens when you get firm with someone. That night, her boyfriend brought down ONE PACKAGE of sticky mouse traps. I hate those kind, they’re disgusting, and the mouse never ends up dead, so you have to kill it yourself. But beggars can’t be choosers, so I took them and set them up. Fast forward to a month later, and I had caught a grand total of 5 mice. In the meantime, my mom took pity on me and gave me some of that hardening foam spray that you spray into holes under your sink or in your wall, it expands and hardens, so rodents can’t get in. We also went to Home Depot and I purchased a piece of wood to put in the bottom of the door frame of my living room storage closet. To explain that one, there is about a 2 inch gap between the floor and the bottom of my storage closet’s door - and that door leads to an under-the-stairs area, which is NOT wallboarded, it is simply bare insulation, behind which is my landlords’ garage. So, I figured that’s where the mice were most likely coming into my apartment - through their garage, through the insulation into my closet, and under the door into my apartment. After I boarded that up, I essentially quit having mouse problems.

In the meantime, my “friend” had the nerve to ask me, “What do you do with your trash?” Unsure of what exactly she meant by that, I asked her. “Oh, you know…I don’t mean to imply anything, but do you take your trash out regularly? Maybe the mice are coming in because of your trash.” EXCUSE MOI!? Was she seriously implying that I left trash and food laying around my house so that mice could come in and live vicariously off me? Oh, heck no. This was the same girl who, a week previously, had told me to quit taking out my trash on Saturdays, because that was the day after the garbage man comes, and they needed to put all THEIR trash out (2 adults and 3 kids). The only reason I was doing so was because with 5 people upstairs, the one single, small garbage can was ALWAYS full on Thursday nights, when I would normally take my trash out, so I would take my one bag out on Saturdays when I was guaranteed to fit it in the can. Keep in mind, seeing as I am one single person living in my apartment, I have MAYBE one bag of trash a week. If that.

So. No more mice. Thankfully, at the moment, no more MAJOR problems. Oh, but just you wait until you hear of all the minor things I’ve had to deal with since last fall.

Their kids upstairs are ages 6, 3, and 1 (respectively). They’re loud. REALLY loud. I don’t think those kids are ever required to take their shoes off, or use indoor voices. ALL their floors upstairs, with the exception of the living room (which is over their garage, not my apartment) are hardwood. Imagine…a 25 year old girl wearing clunky heels. A 6′4″ boyfriend wearing work boots. A 6 year old and 3 year old running around in what sound like soccer cleats. And a 1 year old screaming and throwing things, sending them clattering across the floor. Yep, from about 6:30am until about midnight, just about every day, it sounds like World War III upstairs.

Then, there’s the happy couple upstairs. Or, not so happy most of the time. They like to party. They like to get drunk. They like to come home drunk, after partying. They are both extremely loud drunks. My “friend” can be an extremely loud, ANGRY drunk. It would take me more than one hand to count the number of times they have come clunking and clattering their way into their house at 2:30 and 3:00 in the morning, screaming at each other at the top of their lungs. And yes, folks, I have to get up at 5:30 every morning for work. The amount of sleep I’ve lost because of them upstairs is amazing.

I think I’m a courteous tenant. I keep my t.v. at a reasonable volume during the day (if/when I’m home), and after about 8:00 in the evening, I keep it even quieter. I never blast my music unless I am very sure they are all awake and up and about (i.e. Saturday afternoons when I’m cleaning house). I have never once had a party, or anything even resembling a party, and when I’ve had friends over, I’ve made sure they know that after a certain time of night, shouting at the football game or video game is unacceptable.

Do they do the same for me upstairs? The only feasible response to that is, “HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA….*ahem*.”

Usually I pay my landlords rent in cash. The reason I do this is two-fold. One time, at the very beginning, they lost a check I had written them. I had to call my bank, pay a check-cancelling fee, and write them a new check. Secondly, I tend to like my money to come out of my bank account as soon as possible. It makes budgeting much easier.

So, since about last October, I’ve always paid them cash. About two months ago, I decided to be lazy and not make a special trip to the bank to withdraw my rent money, so I wrote them a check. To my surprise, a few days later, they actually deposited it, and the money came out of my account.

A few days even later, my friend calls me. “Um, we tried to deposit your check, but apparently your account is overdrawn so we can’t get the money.” I won’t go into all the reasons that didn’t make sense to me, but basically, first of all, I have overdraft protection regardless. Secondly, I knew I had the money in my account, I keep very close tabs on my bank account. I like to be overly aware of what money I do and do not have, and where it is going at all times.

I told her no, I did have the money, and according to my bank, the money was withdrawn, and she needed to call her bank and find out why they would not cash the check. She did so (a few days later, of course, since apparently they never take care of anything right away…ever) and informed me that their bank told her there must be a problem with MY bank, and that I needed to call them. I had a feeling she had made that up, but to be nice, I called my bank and spoke with an extremely nice customer service representative, who confirmed that the money had been withdrawn and was no longer in their control. She also informed me that many banks have a “holding period” for any check over a certain amount. Apparently these holding periods can be anywhere from 24 to 48 hours, depending on the amount of the check. I am assuming banks use this time period to verify a check is valid and being deposited by the right person, although I’m not really sure because my bank doesn’t do that.

Regardless to say, I went around and around with my friend, telling her that I wasn’t writing them a 2nd check, that it was between them and their bank - and she had the nerve to ask me for a copy of my bank statement so I could prove that the money came out of my account. In response to that I told her no, she could not have a copy of my bank statement, but I would e-mail her a copy of the page in my online banking that showed that 1. I did have the money in my account and 2. it was withdrawn the same day they deposited the check I gave them.

I assume she dropped it because she knew I was right, and I assume their bank finally deposited the money into their account, because I haven’t heard anything else from them about it.

One last story. About two months ago, my internet in my apartment quit working. The internet that is supposed to be included in my rent. To make a long story short, I discovered that my connection through the wireless router upstairs in their house was no longer secured - basically, anyone and their dog in the neighboorhood could steal our internet. So, I explained the situation to my landlords, and asked if I could have my boyfriend (at the time) come up to take a look at it, reset and resecure the network. I’m not kidding - for a MONTH they put us off and put us off, using every excuse in the book from “The baby is sleeping right now” to “we’re on our way out” to “Our computer is broken”. Finally, we cornered them one Saturday while they were working in their yard and asked if we could PLEASE come inside and take a look at it. Said boyfriend discovered that somehow their computer really was broken, and would no longer recognize that there was a wireless router plugged in at all - hence why I had not had internet for weeks. They insisted they were going to get it fixed. A week or so later, it was still not working, and I really need the internet at my house - I do most of my banking online, and I can’t get on that website at my job, the security settings are too high or something. So I asked my friend and she blew me off and said, “Oh yeah, we’re not getting it fixed after all, we just got internet on our phones instead!” Suffice it to say, after a month and a half of going around and around with them regarding the internet, I was told that I would have to buy my own internet connection if I wanted it because they weren’t getting their fixed. So, the internet that is SUPPOSED to be included in my rent is now being paid for by yours truly - and it’s a pretty crappy connection at that. I’m still debating what to do about it, but I’m considering asking my friend if I can take the $35/mo I spend for internet now and deduct it from my rent, since it’s supposed to be included. By the same token, though, I’m wondering if it’s really worth the frustration of (probably) being blown off or sent around the block again, if I’m just going to be moving out in a few months.  The jury is still out on that one.

All of the above, suffice it to say, as soon as my lease is up in September, I am looking for a NEW PLACE TO LIVE!!!!!!!!!!

Filed under: Humor, Life by Angi